Where am I going Lord?

Genesis 12:1 “Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:”

How would you like it if God told you one day to pack your bags and leave your family, your way of life, and go somewhere without telling you where? The obvious question would be, “Where am I going Lord”. However in Abram’s case, we do not find a place recorded in the Word of God that says anything about any response whatsoever. In the subsequent verses, God continues to pronounce a blessing on Abram that will follow as a result of his obedience. Finally in verse 4, we read that Abram did what God asked of him and stepped out in faith to travel to a destination known only to the Lord. Instead of a question, all we read is an action. Abram loaded up everything and took off for parts unknown. The adventure that follows is a matter of Biblical history and a good read. As a result of Abram’s obedience, not only was he blessed, but many people were blessed as well (ourselves included).

Has God ever asked you to do something or to go somewhere and only asked an act of faithful obedience? At that time, you probably felt just like Abram, and wondered where God was leading you. I too have been put in that position more than once in my life. Most recently, we were retired, enjoying our family and our new found leisure time. A few health issues had prompted a slightly early retirement for us. I had struggled for months dealing with health problems and other issues and at the same time was trying to do justice to being a Bi-Vocational pastor, holding down a full-time job, and being a husband and father. The struggles are enough when you are in good health, but when you are going through several problems at once it is a tremendous load to bear. I had just experienced four surgeries and 5 hospital stays in about 5 months. The resulting recovery and generally being tired and worn out all the time, prompted me to have a conversation with a good friend in the ministry, who shared with me a bit of wisdom that I now know was from God.

I had already retired from by secular job a few months prior to our discussion. I thought that decreasing my load by that amount would be sufficient. However it was not and the resulting stress from trying to be faithful to my calling as a man of God, in the physical condition I was in, was still too much. I was discussing the situation on day with my friend, and he stated something that has been with me ever since. He told me, “You need to take time to take care of yourself or you will not be any good to yourself or anyone else”. I felt that this was from God, so in a few days I turned in my notice to the church I had pastored for several years, and planned to take time off to recover, which I did.

The process that followed was several months of therapy, doctor’s visits, and other ordeals, all of which the Lord walked through with me hand in hand. Eventually in about 9 months, I was feeling good, the therapy sessions were over and I had settled onto a routine of regular workouts at a fitness center, enjoying my family, and generally having a good life. One day, as my wife and I were sitting in our living room talking, she said to me, “You need a job”. I quickly replied, “I am retired”! Well, nothing would do but for her to pull out her phone, and start searching on the Internet for me a job. I just laughed and continued to say, “I don’t need a job. I am retired”.

This went on several times over the next few weeks until one day she said, “I found you a job”. I again replied that I did not need one! The opening was in a company that I had worked for a few years, about 16 years back, in a distant city and in another state. At first I thought to myself, there is no way I am going to move again. God is blessing me here, I am recovering, and besides I have even sent out resumes to several churches for a position as full-time Senior Pastor and will probably get a call just any day!  I was ready to step back into the role of Pastor and pick up where I left off and enjoy myself.

My wife’s prodding continued.  Nothing would do but for me to fill out the online application.  I did it to stop her from constantly telling me I needed a job. I told myself that I would leave it with the Lord.  I knew full well that I would fill out the application, turn it in, and never hear anything from them as I was too old, and that would be that!  Boy was I fooled!  The organization took a look at my resume, decided that I was the person they had been praying for and gave me a call. That call led to another in a few days, then another, an on-site visit, and finally an offer of a Senior Leadership position in the organization, (which just happened to be a large ministry).

Well after much prayer and seeking God, I felt that this had to be of God, and we set out to do exactly as Abram (who later God renamed to Abraham). We loaded up, moved over 250 miles away, left our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and friends. We found ourselves starting life all over in a new place. The transition was difficult.  Many times it left me crying out to God, “God, are you sure about this?” We spent the next two months living in a motel because we could not find a house to live in. That made it all the more difficult.  Finally though we found a house, moved in and setup housekeeping again.

The transition into the job was also difficult, as it was different from what I was used to.  I spend a ton of time in meetings, planning projects, etc. It has turned out that my responsibilities are almost completely different from what I had been doing, and as a result I have had to endure a large learning curve.

Backing up a little, after a few weeks, I became frustrated with the Lord, as I had always taught my people that if you were where God wanted you, you would love it. Well, friends, I not only did NOT love it, I HATED IT!!  One morning as I was driving from the motel, to work, I was about to turn onto the street where the office was,  I was sitting at the light waiting to turn, mad with God for doing this to me.   About that time a song came on the radio and the artist was telling his story about feeling that God had put too much on him, and he was ready to crumble! He was questioning God about his situation. Before another word came out of the artist’s mouth, I cried out to God, “Why did you do this to me? Why did you bring me here, and where am I going? You are treating me like you did Abraham, and I don’t think it is fair!” I was upset and ready to pack my bags and go home!! God immediately spoke to me as if it were a mighty thunder in my soul, “At least I told you where you were going! Trust me!” I immediately was overwhelmed with a calm understanding that things were, not matter how they looked, totally under control, and things were going in the right direction (wherever that may prove to be in the end).

Well, months have passed since that morning, and the jury is still out on a lot of things, but I can tell you this. I AM very happy with where we are, and I have the privilege of seeing the hand of God working all around me every day. I and am experiencing more “God Things” than I have in a long time.  Life is still sometimes a struggle, there are still aches and pains, there are still problems, and there are still questions. I am confident however, that even though sometimes I feel like asking God, “Where I am going” His words “Trust me” still resonate deeply in my soul, and I say, “Yes Lord, I trust you to take us where we are going.”

Life is good and God is good! I still long constantly to minister God’s Word as I have for most of my adult life.  Until that time, I AM in full-time ministry supporting a mighty work of God that is reaching thousands of people for Jesus around the world.  I asked God for a full-time position in the ministry, and I got it, even if it was not what I had envisioned!  All in all though, beloved, to coin a phrase I used to hear years ago from one of my dear friends up in Arkansas, “Friend, it ain’t bad at all!” I can’t wait to see where this journey of faith takes us. I am banking on it being a great ride and a wonderful destination!

When God leads you into the “Great Unknown”, just remember His words to me, “Trust Me”, and trust Him that he knows exactly where you are going and has already been there making preparations!

Blessings!
Bro. Tommy